i survived halloween 2012.

used to be my favourite holiday.

i wonder how long i can keep this up before my body breaks the way my insides did?

who could ever love that part of you?

no one cares how badly it hurts to feel it dying.

stop crying like a child waiting for Daddy to make it better.

you’re not worth the time; you’re not worth the effort

swallow that lump in your throat and do something useful

where do little girls go when Daddy doesn’t want to take care of them anymore?

5am again… i used to hate my former Master’s strictness about bedtime, but without someone to control me that way, its really stressful! the absence of a Dominant in my life alone is stressful, though, i guess. i’m so vulnerable this way. i’m a big girl, i can take it, but i don’t want to. i feel raw and exposed, with all this subbyness and adoration to give, with no one who wants to take it. without a protector. without a keeper for all the things i want so desperately to offer.

now, wide awake, it’s just kind of leaking out my eyes instead.

eee! <3  uhm, my favourite position off-hand would be doggy style.  Daddy goes really deep and i can feel him everywhere.  i have mixed feelings on anal play.  it hurts a lot and it’s really embarrassing, but Daddy and Sir like playing with my ass and that makes me feel good.  and it does make my pussy really, really wet…

favourite writer would be a tie between terry pratchett and george r r martin. ;)

do you ever just want to curl up between his legs, where it’s warm and safe and quiet, and just worship him until you can both smile again?

i feel so small today.